Backstory

So, here is some background:  In my 20s, I thought I knew myself, what I wanted, and how to get it.  Most of all, I wanted to be a Mom in a big family.  More on the whys of that later; for now, just take my word for it.  I married a man who had one child already, a little girl, whom I loved from the moment I set eyes on her and who took to calling me “Mom” very quickly.  What a blessing – but I wanted more.  I yearned to be pregnant, to know a child from before s/he was born. I read parenting magazines the way some people read scholarly journals.  I took my temperature every morning, trying to catch an elusive window of fertility.  I even found a job as a newsletter writer/editor, so I’d have the job flexibility to be home with a new baby.

And then, the year I was 29, it all fell apart.  The newsletter publisher went bankrupt (the way we found out about it: our paychecks bounced).  The latest fertility treatments failed. A hollow awareness dawned that my husband and I shared little in the way of values or interests. And then I discovered that I had cancer. 

So, in the space of a year I saw my work life, my married life, my future-dream-of-motherhood life, and my physical life all *poof* -- up in the air.  No certainty anywhere.

The Lectionary Reading for last Sunday included lovely words of consolation and promise from the prophet Jeremiah:  “Their life shall become like a watered garden.”  I would not have believed that could be true for me, but it has happened. 

And apparently I’m not alone.  This article about people who have rebounded after personal disaster was on MSNBC.com this morning:  http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/40538918/ns/health-womens_health/ 

I love to read stories like this, but I also know there are no guarantees.  Too many good people have been destroyed by the terrible circumstances of their lives.  What makes one person “grow” after a disaster (or string of disasters) and another crumble?  I’m glad to see there is research into this question.